Mattie Mae continued to cry. I looked down on the woman I adored so much. I never wanted her to see this side of me. I helped her off of the floor and onto my sofa. Meika grabbed her a bottled water from the fridge. I sat down beside my transplanted grandmother. She looked to have aged about ten years. “Courtney, what have you done?” The strings of my heart were being pulled. I knew that Mattie Mae wasn’t completely naïve to my dealings but she didn’t know how deep I was into things. With tears in her eyes, she reached for my hand and held it. I looked at her. I looked deep into her eyes and she turned away. “Your eyes, I just noticed. They have a darkness to them. Little girl, what are you into? What just happened here?” Tameika cleared her throat. “Imma let you all talk. Courtney, I need to step out and check on my baby.” I nodded. Mattie Mae’s touch was warm and comforting to me. On the outside I was steel cold. I looked down at the dead man on my floor. I didn’t recognize him and wasn’t quite sure exactly who had sent him. Blood leaked onto my wood floor from the wound in his head. I heard Mattie chant a prayer in French. “Talk to me, Courtney.” I didn’t know where to begin. You see Mattie Mae had forced her way into my life. She had taken care of me. I’ve lived in this community five years and Mattie Mae has been a constant figure in my life since day one. My son was an infant. I was a new mother and didn’t know the first thing about babies but Mattie would come over and show me how to take care of him and would soothe Cobee to sleep when I couldn't. Now she was asking for an explanation. She deserved one. I got up to fix myself a stiff drink. “Mattie Mae, you want something stronger than that water?” In her serious tone she answered, “Little girl, don’t play with me. I want you to sit your ass down and tell me what’s going on. NOW.” I poured myself a shot of Hennessey. I downed it and sat down across from her. “Mattie Mae, I haven’t always been honest in disclosing what all I do. You know I’m a cop and I work for Tactical Narcotics. Recently I’ve gotten into merchandising. You know about my shoe habit. Some think it’s out of control. Well I got into cahoots with Ivory Albro.” She gasped and put her hands to her mouth. I put my head down. I didn’t really want to have this conversation with her but I knew that it was time she knew the truth. “Courtney, the rumor mill been buzzing around here in Houston. They say Albro been missing and most likely he dead. You wouldn’t know nothing about that now would you?” I swallowed long and hard. I looked at her and my eyes told it all. She again started to cry. “I’m in a real good position, Mattie. I run Houston now. I can’t tell you all the many opportunities this will bring me and my family.” She shook her head. “No. I’m not gone sit here and let you feed me this bullshit. My husband did everything he could to take care of our family. He worked three and four jobs and none of them involve robbing and taking from nobody. When I first saw how bad your shoe habit was I told you then to CONTAIN it. You didn’t listen. Now child you so far gone that it ain’t no turning back now.” It was hard for me knowing that Mattie Mae was disappointed in me. I also knew that I couldn't sit in my house in the middle of the day with a dead body in my living room. I needed to call Mike Walker. He could get this cleaned up for me in no time. I turned to Mattie Mae. "Mattie, don't be mad at me. You know what I do for a living and what I do on the side now. I ain't never took a life that didn't deserve it." I said that with finality. She nodded her head as if she understood. "You know Courtney, the last couple of weeks I had been trying to figure out what's so different about you. Now I know. Your soul has left you." I touched the DSW pendant around my neck. I knew that she was probably right. "You want me to walk you home?" She shook her head no. Kissed my cheek and removed the cross she had wore around her neck for forty or more years. She placed it around mine. "You don't take this cross from around your neck, you hear?" She was gone. I didn't have much time. I called Mike Walker and he said that he could be at my house in fifteen minutes. Tameika helped me in searching the dead man for any identification. He had a TDCJ ID card. Clarence Hines. Name didn't ring a bell. A few minutes later, Mike Walker was at my door. He had two other clean up guys with him. We had located the Hines car down the road. It would have to be destroyed too. I told Mike that I wanted his car searched first. I needed to know who had sent him after me. Mike Walker looked at me long and hard. "Lil one, are you ok?" I had been staring off into space. "Yeah, why do you ask?" He rubbed his hand across his goatee. "Your body count is steady rising. That ain't necessarily a bad or good thing." I didn't know how to answer this. I mean Mike Walker has been a King in these streets. He understood. Hines vehicle turned up nothing. Mike and his guys disposed of my problem. Again Mike gave me that look that said he had been where I am and eventually it gets old. I respect him. But I needed to find out the hard way. Hard headed Piggy. Tameika and I sat down in the same area where I had just blew a man's brains out. I looked down at her shoes. She had on Manolo Blahniks. I got mad all over again thinking about mine that were missing. I would get them back. I knew this. No matter what it took. My Baltimore lady called. I gave her her flight information. She would be here in a week. It was back to business as usual. I needed some music. I put on some Betty Wright. After the Pain played loud through my home. The Houston Chronicle lay open on my coffee table and there a picture of Arnissha Lynn. I looked at Meika and said, "Big Lynn is next, Texas Tea. She gone either get down or lay down!" Meika B nodded her head. I figured that when I had got to be too much, Tameika Benford wouldn't hesitate to put me in my place. I had to respect that. I got on my cellular and dialed Big Lynn. "We need to talk." That was it. I hung up. I knew that I couldn't keep on like this. I kept feeling an impending sense of doom. You know me though. I went on like it was nothing.
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