This blog is an ongoing mini drama/novel about Piggy. Piggy is a cop from Houston with a serious shoe addiction. For the most part she is a good person. She has just come to a crossroad in her life between right and wrong, good and evil. Her first pair of Manolo Blahniks are missing and she wants em back! I welcome any and all comments and feedback!
Mattie Mae wants to make me an offer. She want me to give this life up. I've done some horrible things to get where I am. I think that's what's bothering her most. Lung cancer? Mattie Mae don't even smoke. But Sly did. She was dying and I couldn't help her. Said she had exhausted all of her alternatives. I need her. I know that may be selfish. I got a text from him this morning. It said, Thinking about you Piggie. LV would do that from time to time. That text did something to me. Made me feel good. No matter what, win, lose or draw, he was Team C.C. So what do I do? I had given up so much to just walk away from it. But I tell you that my Mattie Mae to me was priceless. How could she not tell me about this though? I felt like I've lost time with her that I may never have. Hennessey burns just a little going down. I'm seated in Mattie Mae's kitchen. She's gone back to bed and I can see the sun slowly coming up. There is so much that needs to be done around Houston. Still haven't been to sleep. Nightmares have turned into daymares too. My body and mind can't even diffrentiate between day and night no more. Want love so bad to where I overlook it. Not realizing that love came in the form of my raven beauty. From that day at Monet's when she helped while I was sick to every time she cursed me or let that .50 of hers bust, Tameika love Piggy. I don't know why. I overlook the center of calmness around me when Lv hug me and tell me to be careful. I mistake opportunity for love when I think about how even after all these years Machete Mychelle will gut a nigga for me. She love Piggy. I just chop Mike Walker's advice to me as him being wiser and my daddy's road dog to why he show me so much favor. My circle small but the people around me fuck with me the long way. And many of them really didn't want nothing from me. I still think about the jarhead. Dismiss the idea. He's a square. You'll only destroy him, Courtney. He made my birthday night nice tho. This when I cry. Wonder if he up. Probably so. Insomniac like me. I text him. Thinking of you too LoVe Walton. WYD?? He reponds, Call me. Answer on the first ring. I don't say anything. I hold my phone to my face and imagine his hand rubbing across my face moving my hair to the side. "It's okay Piggie." I cry and we continue to have a conversation with no words. LV don't judge me. He listens. He hear the things I don't say. "The nightmares won't let up bae." "I hear you mama, but you can't let that consume you. L-I-G it Reggie." I sniffle and laugh. So childish. "I love you LV. You love me?" "You know I do, Piggie." A weight is lifted off me. We hold the phone and its a comfortable silence. We don't always have to be talking. I imagine him outside on his balcony. Smoking a blunt. Expensive slacks. Steve Madden belt. Open and loose around his waist. His brown bare shoulders out because he in a wife beater. So I think about how lucky Dee is. I envy my best friend's wife. I see smoke coming out his mouth and I exhale. I love Texas boys. My tears are drying up. "Stop crying Piggie." I do. "Okay." I hear his daughter in the background. "Take care of her and call me back bae." "Ok cool. Call me if you need me." I hung up. No square feelings, Piggy. Emotional walls girl. I was always comforted after talking to him. Guess I'm lucky in a sense but I'm still feeling this impending doom. Hell sometimes I feel like if aint no danger lurking around the corner then its something wrong. I hear my piglet stirring. "Mama are you here?" "In the kitchen bae." In spiderman pajamas and socks, this was the most handsome dude I knew. He gone be thick like his daddy. He look just like me and my mama though. He sit down next to me. "Mama, how was your day. I was sleep when you came in." "It was cool, Cobee. How was your day?" "It was great. Me and Mattie did a lot of stuff. I was scared though because she was getting tired too alot." Damn, this made me think that I would have to tell him she was sick. He don't know. How do you explain death to a child. "Mattie just bee a little under the weather bae. I don't want you to worry about it." "Well I hope she gets better mama. School about to be out and I need her." Feel like my heart broke when he said that. Now my phone going off. Its Mychelle. "Yeah." "Big Lynn ready to talk." "Okay, I'll see you soon." I hung up. Now Arnissha Lynn was seeing things our way. Reckon I didn't really leave her a choice. "Cobee what we doing today?" "Whatever we can." My baby's eyes were lit up. I knew that I needed this time with him. I'll cook breakfast and we'll go do anything he wants to do today. I hear Al Green on my granny's radio. How can you mend a broken heart. Eggs, bacon and grits as I think about who love me and whose against me. So into singing to Al Green and cooking I don't see the Gmen and five federal cars next door to my house. One is at the front door of my grandmothers. I'm like steel on the outside. They better not wake my Mattie Mae.
This be the only time I can really think. I just laid Laila back down. Daddy's little girl. She woke up a little cranky. I gave her some juice and laid her across my chest and she was back sleep in no time. I love Laila Danielle more than my own life. Now its six a.m. and I can't stop thinking about her. No doubt, Piggie was knee deep in shit. I had to hand her though. King looked good on her. She wore it well. Just didn't know how she was gone wear that sergeant's badge and that King of Houston crown at the same damn time. Nothing like a blunt in the morning. I consider Piggie my friend. I listen to her. I think she dig the fact that I'm her friend and I really don't want anything from her. Don't get me wrong. She's sexy. I would if I had the opportunity but she was cool. A different kind of woman, C.C. is. She can do just about anything a man can but she'll never emasculate you. You always feel like a man when she around and she make you feel appreciated. Those eyes of hers though. Beautiful and deadly. She hypnotizes you with them. Still I was Team Piggie. Cuz she was definitely Team LV. I watch my beautiful wife sleep. She's a good woman. Don't get me wrong. She's just so career driven. Can't be mad at her for that. She's an army physician and because of that we constantly moving. I put my foot down on some things. Told her that Houston was my home and we needed a house here. Piggie say she needed me. I can't explain how that made me feel. I thought her idea for Houston was great. An embassy of women who all had something to bring to the table. Rumour has it that _____ is back. Wonder if Piggie knows. Surely he would get in contact with her first. The other day when Piggie and I had lunch she talked about how much she missed him. She talk about _____ like he Superman. Reckon one day Laila will talk about me like that. Great, my download for Courtney Got Something to Say came through. I hear its real good. Everybody been reading it. I just wanted to see what all the hoopla is about. Sometimes I feel like an old man. Taking care of my family is a joy. I love doing it. Hell I look at these young cats and I'm disgusted. I guess that's how I know I'm getting old. I did pretty much the same things they doing. I figured I was a little smarter though. So I thought about how I could be an asset to Piggie. I can lend her hand with the financial part of her business. Lord knows she would need it. She tried to hide it from me but I knew she was still on shoes bad. She needed to get a handle on it or kick it all together. I decided that I would help her with all her bookkeeping. She pretty much had everything else taken care of. My Piggie needed a genuine friend. I would be that forever if she wanted. Dee sleeping so peaceful. She works long hours. I love her. I do. She just don't understand fully what a man needs. No matter. I took vows. I'll be the man she needs. No worries. Provide for my family is my mantra. No ifs ands or buts about it. Butts. Piggie's butt felt nice in my hands the other day. I gotta shake her. My friend is poisonous. I know she torn between right and wrong. Hell these days and age, its hard to differentiate between the two because everybody got a story to tell. Hey they playing Zapp early in the a.m. Pandora going live. More bounce to the ounce. This Houston don't let up I see. It's six thirty and still probably eighty degrees out. So she King of Houston. Didn't get the chance to ask her the other day but "What now?" It's crazy because we all know what she had to do to get that title. Gotta be heavy on your soul. I swear I think about the darkness her eyes carry. She walk like she on top of the world but I know she know what real turmoil feel like. She's good for Houston though. I just want her to be careful. This game will change you. Sometimes for the better but most often for the worst. I felt like Courtney was a vibrant beautiful young woman who had a lot to offer the world. Thing is, she had to know that. Nothing like Pfunk early in the morning. Now let's figure out what me and Laila Danielle gone eat this morning.
I love the way Mattie Mae's home smell. The minute you walk in here you smell lemon, vanilla, butter and Rare Gold perfume. She loves that fragrance. In fact she is the reason I wear it today. Its an old school scent but I love it. Many people ask me about it. I hear her television on upstairs. Let me try and be a little quiet. I know that her and my piglet are probably still asleep. There's so much on my mind. I mean work. My piglet. I got the feds tailing me. My mama worries like hell. Mattie Mae is frayed. And then I can't stop thinking about my daddy. I miss him so much it aches. Its crazy. I go back and I try to replay the last conversation I had with him. "Daddy, when you coming home? Or if you can't come back, when can I come to where you are?" He got quiet. I could hear him smoking at the other end of the phone. "Baby girl I don't wanna tell you no tales. It really ain't safe for me in Houston right now. I don't wanna bring no more harm to you and your mama, your brother, any of yall. They wanna hang _____. That ain't gone happen." Tears flowed down my face. This was my superman and I needed him. Its crazy. My daddy a second generation bricklayer. My mother a judge. The ironies of life. "Daddy I need you." I'm whining. I'm a grown woman but still my daddy is my everything. I hear tears in his voice. "You gone be ok baby girl. I never worry about you. Even when you was first born, I knew you would be okay." This was him telling me that I may never see him again. I had just finished up at the academy. My daddy was guilty of everything he had been convicted of. He decided that he wasn't going out like Blount. He wasn't doing no time. That's all it was to it. "I need you and your brother to take care of your mama. Do that for me. I have to go away for a while Trouble." I smiled. That was his nickname for me. He said when I was born and he held me for the first time, I pulled on his heart strings and that told him I was trouble. He would live and die for my kind of trouble. I guess that name fit appropriately now more than ever. We talked for thirty minutes that last time. I feel like I didn't say everything I needed to say to him. I knew that was probably for the best. You can't run when you loaded down with square feelings. I knew that. But the selfish part of me needed him. The house is quiet. I didn't even bother going to check on my house. Look at them. She holds Cobee in her arms like he hers. My Mattie Mae is beautiful. I study the worry lines on her forehead. Seems like she wasting away though. When Sly passed, I knew she had a really hard. He was pretty much all the family she had. They never had any children. I was more than happy to let her run my life as she saw fit. Truth is in the short amount of time I'd known her, I now could not imagine my life without her. I'm getting that itch again. I had something in my car I know. I would never use in Mattie Mae's home. She didn't approve of my shoe habit. I know she prayed that one day I could kick it. I kissed her forehead and laid next to her shaking. She stirred and grabbed my shaking hand. She whispered she love me in french. "I love you too, old girl." "Courtney, go into the guest room. In the top closet there is something in there that'll help. I don't like to see you suffer baby." I wrapped my arms around her. "Go now. You gone wake your son." On the top shelf there was a pair of fuschia wedges. Steve Madden. I found a Nike shoelace and I tied it as a tourniquet around my arm. Formed a vein and laid the wedge directly on it. Head leaned back and my senses heightened. You see never mind that I am now the King of Houston. Or the fact that I'm one of the youngest black female police sergeants the city of Houston has. Long as I'm doing this, I'm just a junkie. I wipe blood from my nose and run my hands down the suede material of this fabolous shoe. I try to explain that when I use like this, its also a heightened sexual experience for me too. I'm high. Thump!! What the hell was that? I get up and I see that Mattie Mae has fallen. Except, this isn't the Mattie Mae, I know. This person is skin and bones. She's bald. The Mattie Mae I just kissed and held had a head full. Am I high? She looks up at me and I see pain in her eyes. I imagine mine are glossy. I kneel down and help her. There's a bruise on her left hip. I see the wig with rollers in it on the floor. "Cancer?" She nodded. I feel tears stinging my eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?" She don't answer. I sit down on her vanity ottoman. She sits next to me. "Baby, tell you what? That I have lung cancer and its getting worse?" I couldn't stop the tears. My high was gone. "Mattie, you didn't think I needed to know? I mean what the hell- "Courtney Danielle, watch your mouth! I didn't know how to tell you. I mean I tried to explain to you when I needed you to sign those insurance papers." I refused to sign them. Mattie Mae was healthy so I thought. "How long you been dealing with this?" "About nine months, Courtney." One more thing my being King of Houston couldn't change. "So what are they saying?" She hesitated a minute before answering. "It's pretty bad Courtney. They're giving me six months." My heart felt like it was going to come out of my chest. "Six months, Mattie Mae?!! Really?" She shushed me. "Settle yourself down before you wake that baby!!!" I'm devastated. I couldn't lose her. Not now. I needed her. I grabbed the cross she gave me weeks ago around my neck and I prayed to God. When I opened my eyes she stood firm in front of me. Apron on. Wig back on and not a worry in sight. She grabbed my hand. "Come on. Let me fix my sweet girl a snack. We can talk downstairs while my baby sleeps." I followed her. Here I was. No King Piggy. No super cop. No murderer. No shoe junkie. I was a little girl who was following a woman I knew loved me more than her next breath. We went into the kitchen where she had fixed me a big piece of German chocolate cake. Hennessey and warm milk was on the table. "I love you Courtney Danielle Coyle, you hear me?" I dug into my cake and I nodded. Mouthful I said, "I love you, too Mattie." She sat before me a folder with her last wishes. An insurance policy for two and a half million dollars. "Baby, I want you to give this up. This lifestyle you living. Give it up. You're not _____. You're the best part of him. I'll give him that. But you're not him. You don't have to go down his path. That baby up there need you." I swallowed hard. I looked at my transplanted grandmother. "Is that what you want bae?" She patted my hand. I needed Mattie Mae. The shoes. The money. The status. My power. My badge. Could I really give all this shit up? Dorothy Moore sings Misty Blue on Mattie's kitchen radio. Her warm hand pats my cheek. In an instant I could lose everything. I realize that. A hard head makes for a soft curly tail. How I love German Chocolate Cake.
The baby will be here any day now. Truth be told, I'm ecstatic like its my first one. I look at Torie and she beautiful to me in a different way everytime I see her. Shit, a lotta people can't believe she changed me. Really though, I had just got tired of being out there in these streets nonstop. Torie told me she was pregnant, it did it for me. I gave it all up. I married her and vowed that I would put nobody else before her. I meant that. Oh sure there was the occasional raggedy bitch out there but nothing was more important than my family. Ain't nothing on the news. They talking about the crime rate. Little do they know that one of Houston's finest is behind most of it. King Piggy. I can't be mad at her. She handling her business. I give her that and she was keeping me in business as well. The bodies is piling up. I knew it would be a blood bath after she survived that bombing. It had to be this way. I just hope she take my advice. Torie and her mama went shopping. The kids are with my sister. So I'm relaxing. Aint home by myself much at all. Figured I'd watch what I want on TV. Pay some bills. Finally check Courtney Got Something to Say out. They say this blog off the chain. What the hell is that? Somebody got they damn hand over the peephole. "Who is it?" They don't say nothing. My baby is next to the door. I pull the hammer back and ease the door open. I'm looking at a ghost. Shit he look like an old man now. We the same age. Heavy drinking. Black Stacy Adams. Black linen suit. One gold hoop in his right ear. My partner in crime was back. _______. "You look shocked to see me, Mike Walker." I laid my pistol down but slowly. I missed this nigga but the truth was I hadnt seen him in years. Didn't know where his head was. We embraced. "Man, where the hell you been? You know it ain't safe in Houston for you." He rolled his eyes. The same eyes his red daughter was using to reign over the city we once controlled. "Mike Walker, this my home. Nothing or nobody keeping me away from it again. Well nigga, is you gone invite me in? Where's the old lady and the babies?" Something pulled at my gut. It wasn't like I didn't trust _____. Not that at all. But you see a man's home is sacred. You protective over it no matter what. We looked in each other's eyes. He put his hands up. "Respect, brother. Respect." I relaxed. "You wanna drink?" He smiled. "Sure. Crown Royal." "Just a splash of Coke baby." We both had to laugh at that. Same old ______. "So how long you been back?" I sip Crown and it dont even burn no more. Been drinking this poison for a while. Still I dont drink it like I used to. He looks around my house. "Mike Walker the family man, huh? I dig it." He shakes his glass and I hear the ice cubes clinkle and the second hand ticking from my grandfather clock. "Is it true, Mike Walker? All this stuff I'm hearing about my baby. Is it true?" I looked my friend of more than thirty years in the eyes. For the first time ever, I saw fear in his eyes. "Yeah man. Its worse. Courtney eyes are as black and cold as ours. She running this city bro." He downed the rest of his drink. "I never wanted this shit for her Mike Walker. This ain't for her." I felt him. No man wants a life like this for any of his kids let alone his only daughter. "You ain't seen her. You don't know then. C.C. in a lot of stuff bro. Remember she still got that badge too. But lil one got it. You need to put your eyes on her yourself. Talk to her." He stands up. I walk him to the door. "Mike Walker, was it worth it?" I looked around my home. Didnt hesitate. "______ best thing I've ever did." He smiled and left. He hopped in an Aston Martin. Black on black everything. I heard So Fly coming out of the stereo. Same old ______. Houston, what the hell are you going to do, now that there is two of em loose. Piggy and her old man.
