Welcome to the Kings' Neighborhood: It never Ends!!!

As I drove home in my underwear, I thought about life and how crazy it had been. I mean yeah I could sit here and rationalize for all the things I had done. But truth is they were all wrong and I would surely pay for my sins and gravely. I was once again off men. Fuck it. I would take a vow of celibacy. Right now I had to keep my mind focused and men took too much of your time and I needed all my devices. Big Lynn thought it was over. We had been keeping her at one of my safe houses. Tameika had got her while I was still in the hospital and I knew that a ton of people had been looking for her. It happens. That was some real foul shit Big Lynn did. I mean tryna off me and doing it with a bomb? Really? No I couldn't just let that go. Wasn't gone happen. Shit, I needed to get another cell phone and quick. I pulled up in front of my house. Good thing it was still about five in the morning. Dusk. No one was out. Most people slept late on Saturday mornings. I ran to my door in my skivvies. My house was at peace. There wasn't anything out of order. I half expected it to be though. That is crazy. I had now come to expect the unexpected. I tiptoed past Mattie Mae. She and all her great grand children were still fast asleep. I knew Meika B would probably be here in a couple hours to get Jay. As I tiptoed upstairs, I put my hand on the cross that my grandmother had given me. I had never taken it off since the day Mattie Mae put it around my neck. I believe it had been protecting me. You know I thank God everyday for my praying mother and grandmother. They loved and wanted for me when I didn't for myself. I got immediately into my shower. I wanted the steam to envelope me and wash away what I had just done. It never did. All of my victims stayed with me. They never left me. Whether a casualty was work related or not, it never left me. That was my punishment. I got out of the shower. Lotioned my body and slipped on a big T-shirt. My television was playing and an informercial for Courtney Got Something to Say was on. I wonder if this blog was all people said it was. They promise its life changing huh? Maybe I'd order the Ipad app and start reading it. They talk about this Piggy as if she's legendary. I guess. Wonder what NiccT was up to. Hadn't talked to him since he supplied me with that heat the other day. I had left him with my girls. I smile. No telling what happened after that. I'm laying on my back looking at the ceiling just thinking. I made a choice and I had been making a series of choices that I felt were conducive for me and my city. Still I questioned whether or not they were the right ones. I loved Drell. I saw myself married to him and having children for him. I felt like I could trust him and look what he did. I had misjudged him. So I'm swearing off men. Seriously. I have so much other stuff I need to be worried about and men ain't one of them. I needed to get in touch with Capt. ASAP. I wonder if he knew that he was being investigated. I'm laying on my back  looking towards the ceiling. Lights are off in my room but my plantation shutters are open. I see him across the street. He moved there a couple a weeks ago. According to Mattie Mae, he was single, a marine, no children. He was nice but she said she could tell that he had been through some things. I would get excited watching him box. He had a bag in his garage and I could see him pounding out frustration on that bag. He was handsome. Tall, and baby faced. But I could see veins and muscles at night when he would hit that bag. He had to know I watched him. He'd waved at me a time or two. I got really excited when I learned his name. David. Just like my daddy and my twin brother. David was a king. Now so am I. I giggle at the idiosyncrasies. ONE-TWO ONE-TWO ONE-TWO. He pounds the bag and I touch myself. I feel his lips on my collarbone and those strong taped up hands of his-My phone rings. "Yeah." "Piggy you need to have your ass in my office at nine am sharp!" "But Capt. that's in a couple of hours. I haven't had any sleep." He hung up. Shit. Here we go. My alarm clock said that it was 5:57 am. I closed my eyes and fantasized about the caramel marine. I replayed Drell's murder and I analyzed my future and how I would be forced to pay for my sins. As I lay my hand grazed the nine millimeter underneath my pillow. The cold steel chilled me for some reason. I removed the clip, knowing that there was one live round in it. What sense did that make? Well King Piggy knows that most times you only have one shot and you better make that count. Even while half sleep I knew my enemy was close. Starsha Danielle couldn't possibly be this stupid. So I lay on my back and waited for her. I saw her sit and stare at David and now she was on her way into my home. Forgive me Father.....My queendom. I kissed the cross around my neck. I'm ready bitch.... It ain't easy being me, Pac.